A lot has happened since my last post….I have changed my name for one. I am now called Prema (a Sanskrit name meaning Love) and Joy is now my surname. The name was given to me in India and whilst there and coming home, it became apparent to me, that this is my name now. It has taken some folks (mostly family) a while to get used to it, and there have been all sorts of excuses, and Judgements, and it never bothered me one bit, coz changing my name was not a dilemma, it felt like there was no choice.  I understand where people are coming from, coz that was me.. Sorry you did what? changed your name? why? I never understood..even when they gave me their explanation… I had judgement around it….. interesting to be on the other side…..

And the second thing that’s changed… I no longer have a house of my own… or 3 Cats…  (rather fun, mad cat lady persona expired) LOL… I have become a House Sitter and a carer of other peoples animals…. its been mostly dogs so far interspersed with Alpacas and chickens, fish, birds, baby snake…. I have much much less possessions, 3 or 4 suitcases to be exact and some plastic stowaway boxes at my mums that contain photos and momentos.  My Cats are ALL happily re homed with lovely folks… (big sigh of relief)

WAS this a Mad Whim? possibly… do I feel good about it? Yes.. so far I am enjoying myself.. there are the times of transition (going from one house to another) where I feel a bit lost..I have no where I belong etc…. and then its over.. and I am good again, making friends and falling in love with some more fur buddies….

When I made the choice to “do this” everything fell into place… literally everything lined up in the Universe and made it happen effortlessly….. I really didn’t have to “do” much of anything, except be committed to my cause…… Big word Commitment!!!!! one I struggle with at certain times… It brings up fear in me… It often brings up things like, I have to get this right, I have to succeed at this, I have to put effort and get an outcome…..

REALLY that’s what it brings up in me… the dictionary meaning….

NOUN
1. the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc:-
“the company’s commitment to quality”

Synonyms: dedication, devotion, allegiance, loyalty, faithfulness

2. a pledge or undertaking
” I cannot make such a commitment at the moment”

Synonyms: Vow, promise, pledge, oath, contract, pact, deal, decision, resolution.
an engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action:
“Young people delay major commitments including marriage and children”
Synonyms: responsibility, obligation, duty, tie, liability, task….

What does it bring up for you?

What I have discovered is that when I am fully committed to something, without fear of the outcome and whether or not I will get it right…. and my doing it is bigger than the fear and it feels like I have no other choice, the universe lines up and Wham bam its manifested…..before I know it…..

so I have to question myself…. why am I sometimes committed and sometimes not…..and the level of FEAR is always the answer.

and having many WHIMS as I am a intuitive person, they don’t always work out because I am not really underneath it all, committed….because feeling the fear and doing it anyway sometimes leaves me on middle ground….halfway down the cliff…etc…

I had a whim (inspiration) to go to Africa and do a workshop in the slums of Mombasa for girls 11-15 years old. I raised $6,000 on Pozible and went…again the Universe lined up everything just happened and I got so much more amazing experiences than I ever thought possible. It was freaking awesome….(you can read about it on the blog on www.awakeninghearts.com.au)

I had a whim to set up a business called Meditation Adventures (yes this business) and at the start a lot of things fell into place…. and website was built and equipment was bought and filming took place, and then things weren’t going smoothly, I had trouble with filming and the editing program and downloading etc etc etc…. I started to question if I was doing the right thing and my commitment began to waiver and…….here I am with it all and I am NOT doing it…as yet, like I thought I would be…. I have yet to discover which “part” of me is not fully committed to this…. that there is some little me, who is for what ever reason not jumping in at the moment……she has the brakes on!

As a healer and Journey Practitioner, why haven’t I done something about this?..well the answer is I have….. I have processed and worked on it and still Nada…nothing…. HERE is where I am…. so Acceptance is the only way for me to go and Prayer…accept where I am and let it go. Its not “off the ground” its not “working” at the moment. Put out a prayer for direction, for help, for shifting “whatever” is in the way.

Now the first bit in my “about me” on this website reads like this……

Hello My name is Prema and Meditation Adventures was born from a passion for Travel, Service and wanting to make a difference. It is the first time I have created a business which is solely based on enjoying what I do, being myself and sharing my gifts and talents.
I am passionate about connecting with people, living from the heart, making a difference, and living life to the full.

The funny thing is that with the House sitting…..I am travelling around to all these different places, being of service, connecting with people, making a difference, discovering new talents, being myself and enjoying what I do…..so some of it is working…. except not in the way I thought or think it should be as obviously none of this has anything to do with Meditation…. Unless you count my own meditation and chanting in the mornings…which I might add is not always appreciated by my animal audience…lol..

So the next bit has yet to manifest….

To connect, inspire, educate and collaborate with people, communities and places bringing greater peace and harmony to people’s lives through energy, awareness, meditation and programs. To support people and communities to live with purpose peace and passion.

Meditation Adventures provides Meditations and Webinars as an experience for you to improve your health and wellbeing. Meditations are filmed in Nature, sacred sites, temples and out the of the way places for you to enjoy from your home or office. Or you can meet me and join in live, follow the action on facebook or twitter and suggest places that you would like to experience, or if you live in a beautiful spot, invite me to your place.

So my question to myself is what am I learning about all this?…….. Patience, timing, believing in myself, what true commitment actually looks like, letting go of outcome and attachment to what it should be, my reliance or wanting someone else to “make it happen” or rescue me……..the idea of whatever I think it is…..the “persona” of what I have imagined it to be, do for me etc……

and through out history and with many artists, inventors, writers etc…they all took time to Hone, evolve, allow…….so perhaps the only commitment that is needed is resilience…..

and so through all of this…..

I am in the process of making Space…………………………for the Universe to “fill”.

As some wise person once said….its not about the destination…its about the journey…..

Love and Blessings Prema 🙂